Oh, I know what you want - that’s the funny thing. You want exactly what everybody wants - you want to stop suffering. If you were really honest with yourself you would realize that that is just about it. All else, that you think you want is merely part of that struggle, not to suffer.
If you were to fully understand that you would never again argue with another person. It would be clear to you that that is the one thing that everyone is doing - trying not to suffer. Neither you nor they are being overly successful, and you ended off blaming each other! There’s no mind in that. You can only begin to be rational when you realize that everyone is frantically struggling to keep balance, just as you are. If you want someone to ’kiss your ass’ within that truth, you’re barking up the wrong tree.
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First of all your suffering is the result, up to now, not of ‘how you have taken things’ but simply the matter of fact that you have taken in so much.
It has all been a random collection of confused and crooked impressions, fed into the world by the total accumulation of distorted men, throughout the ages.
It’s a curse at one level and a potentially immense gift at another. The more ‘shit’ the better fertilizer, nutrition for the seeds of truth deep within your Soul.
Through Conscious Payment, in ‘sacrificing
ones suffering’, rests the possibility of moving
up the ladder of Universal Intelligence, thereby
serving an agenda of growth, the same time as
paying ones predestined obligation to the Higher.
There exists special knowledge, schools,
evolved souls embodied or otherwise, that may assist
this ascent for those rare few who demonstrate
sufficient interest, capacity and effort.
’Conscious Labour’ is making an effort - an effort relative to Knowledge! The more you make that kind of effort - the more you see. And what you see, at this level, is the pain. And that’s where the ’Intentional’ comes in - to face that vibration intentionally! It’s quite the opposite of what we normally do, as we turn away or block it. That’s really the beginning of chozer bet’shuva - facing this level first of all as energy.
Work is about ETERNITY, it’s not about your pupik. And we’re prepared, in this life, to suffer the ignorance, for survival sake. It’s all suffering down here. It’s not for nothing that Gurdjieff calls this world a PAIN FACTORY. But in that pain there is an immense amount of energy! You want to be ’comfortable’ here? That’s what you’ve been trying all your life. Are you comfortable?
What do you suffer from? Is it all the stuff that you avoided, all those things that didn't 'agree' with you? Things that didn't agree with the mechanical habits of your mind, emotions, or body. The 'Reality of Now' you found 'uncomfortable'... and you didn't suffer it like a Man. You said it was 'wrong'. Eventually you are unable to say 'wrong' because you realize that your wrong is somebody else's right, and there are a million wrongs and a million rights. Maybe, then, you are approaching the end of mechanical, useless suffering.
THE WORK PROMOTES:
'Conscious Labor and Voluntary Suffering.'
You go to an issue of your choice and are prepared to suffer the Second Force (resistance), CONSCIOUSLY.