Expectation

That’s really the issue - energy! If you are going to observe yourself, study yourself, you need energy! You ’manufacture’ energy when you’re asleep at night but it mostly gets dissipated in useless things.
Expectations from others is a big part of it. If you really see the ridiculousness in that then you at least stop leaking there.
There is a shock when someone doesn’t conform to your expectation. But you need not react to it. It can hurt, but you don’t have to leak! There you have a ’gift of energy’ - that you can use to remember, and observe your functions.

If you want/expect anything from someone, now or in the future, you are FORCED (and limited) to think, conceive, cerebrate, within the extent, limits, perspectives, form, size, and content, as if, of their MIND.