quote-710

Oh, you're going to be held in your negativity until you have paid, in full. Well, how do you pay? For instance, how do you pay for your mistakes of 'expectation'? The first mistake was that you 'knew' who and what could or should have done something. You believed in the negativity of your mechanical preference, and went with your mechanical justification of it. You didn't suffer the issue, consciously. You got identified with it. You thought someone, or God, or 'life', owes you something. You're negative, you've been short-changed, somehow, hurt, treated unjustly - and you're angry. 
There are, as if, different negative emotions. You even have different names for them. You can call it jealousy, you can call it insult, you can call it what you want. But they're definitely made up of assumptions of what could or should be. 
So people suffer, get negative and justify, thereby maintaining, by the way, a sense of 'I' which is totally imaginary! So they never really get to 'pay'. They don't pay with awareness and voluntary suffering.
 
When you're negative, you're in darkness. From there you go around thinking you're 'right'. You think you're 'justified in justifying yourself', because that's what everyone else is doing. You're ignorant of the Law. Your right or wrong is nothing more than a vague sense, coming from smack within the darkness. From a cosmic point of view it doesn't make a shit bit of difference, it's totally subjective - each one measuring in his own 'way'. 

People seem to suffer more deeply from their negativity the older they get. More and more they find out that no matter how they try to explain and justify, it doesn't make any difference, it doesn't change anything. But their whole repertoire of 'identities' is in there. In time they can't help but realize that their life has been hardly anything more than a subjective movie.