'Equal to Life'

‘Equal To Life’ / Document 10

November 2001



Everybody wants the peace of Eternity, of Now. Eternity isn't only of the 'past' and the 'future', it is, most essentially, Now! Everything alive is making an effort to balance out with that 'Presence'. That's where 'God' is, the Intelligent Universe, alive and functioning. Whether your 'trick' is liquor, drugs, sex, sky diving, or meditation – that's the connection you're begging for consciously or otherwise. Even an explosion of anger can leave you with a few moments of . . . 'Ahhh!' . . . of Now!

There is Eternity, and there is 'life'.

'Work' is meant to be the connecting force between those two. Eternity is Now/ God/Higher Intelligence, and is quite beyond the ability of the 'common' mind to 'grasp'. We do however have the capacity of being in harmony with It. 'Life', which is generally distorted, complexed, mechanical, unharmonious and suggesting all kinds of fractured, as if, meanings, leaves people 'split', with one foot in that world, one foot in the other. There's no sane person that wouldn't like to go out and lay on a beach.

Now, what would it mean to be 'equal to life'? Anyone who is determined to remain sane in this period, is going to have to face this question. The world has never seen anything the likes of which we are into now.

People, here, in their own small way can take care of themselves. They are capable, but what experience do they have? Even though the situation now is radically different from the past, one thing remains constant, and that is: Nobody can carry anyone on their back – life isn't built that way. Some might have relied, more than they were aware, on the cushion of their parent's home, the Kibbutz that they came from, or one or two rich friends. That's the kind of thing which could lead to a weakening of one's 'sincerity' – which is a most serious matter.

In what's coming-up, you're going to find yourselves 'up in the air' far more than you ever imagined. When you land, you had better land on your feet. You could be landing from a trip, a broken romance, an insult, a sickness – from anything. No matter what, land on your feet!

People learn to be so kind to themselves, so forgiving. If they were two percent as forgiving with the other people, we would be living in a different world. When they are 'two percent as forgiving', they are likely to sit down and wait for Sweden to call – to award them the Nobel Peace Prize. The moral sickness is deeply rooted.

What is it going to take these days to be equal to life? Two essentials, for sure – a certain Knowledge and, the ability to live with other people.

Over the years people at this house have managed to see themselves, relative to others, in a way few have the opportunity to do. They may not have become experts in 'communion', but they have become capable of living with others, not necessary easily, but this has already become a viable option.

On the other hand, there is a potential downside. I come from a society where people were announcing with 'full wisdom' that 'money doesn't grow on trees'. Here, we hardly talk about that issue – the focus is elsewhere. Where else? That's a good one – if not there, then where?

Okay, you don't have to 'struggle to survive'. Now what are you going to do? That's not something for a quick answer, that's really what's called an 'existential question'. You know, what's your life for? You're here for some years – is it worth anything, do you want to do something with it?

There are many people on kibbutzim that are quite miserable. I don't know how they got there, but it seems they can't leave. There are people who have been in jail for years and when their sentence is up they don't want to leave. Many children never want to leave their parents' home.

Now, what's the difference with the people here? It's not the usual house where mommy cooks and cleans, daddy brings in the bread, and the kids, you know, fight with each other. In those cases, it seems, everything has to be accepted. A new card says: 'Family has turned into a Pagan Religion – full of human sacrifice!' They're eating each other all of the time. Not so much of that at our

place – except on occasion when someone gets on their 'high-horse', as the expression goes.

We're so patient with ourselves generally speaking. With others? Recently somebody asked someone to wash their plate, because they were in a 'rush'. The response was: "If it was up to me, I would let the sink fill-up." What kinds of voices slip out! What they were really saying was: 'oh shit, I don't want to do that – there's my mother, at it again, like telling me to take out the garbage!' They'd leave their own plate too if it were up to them. But the fact is that it's not 'up to them'. You don't piss in the well that you drink from. Well, maybe that person was just 'landing', from something.

That's not just an issue of being 'equal to life' – it's being equal to 'heaven'. You don't leave an area worse than you found it – that's bottom-line for heaven.

Now, back to 'life'. I'm making a bit of an artificial separation maybe. But what's really going on? Hardly anybody wants to work for money. Why not? Because, actually, there's nothing they really want. One earns money for something – to go somewhere, get 'something'. What's the 'agenda' after the survival issue?

I am raising my voice a bit, talking as if I'm complaining. I'm not complaining. We're looking for the truth of the matter, not just going 'naughty, naughty!' Everyone is a bit uneasy around the issue of motivation – they're doing, whatever they are doing, but the meaning, every once in a while, kind of slips away.


I'm not so sure whether it's a fact or not but I have a feeling this will be the first Friday night in eons that nobody has made a meal.

Na'ama : Adam did.

Tamara : Adam is making.

Alan : Adam is making it . . . good for him, yes. He baked a cake yesterday, cleaned up the yard with Stephen, made a copy of the disk for 'Wasting God's Time', is working on the 'Get Out Music', doing menu covers for the restaurant, dealing with the service department from HP along with Stephen (because we've got a eight thousand shekel machine there, which is not functioning right). Also, doing the shopping, going to the market . . . and more. Good for him! First time ever he's been in a position to really move. He's generally active in a variety of ways, like Tamara. There is no difficulty in doing when there's meaning behind it. Sometimes it gets a little heavy – you row a boat, then see a few people sitting in the back, with their feet dangling in the water. Okay . . . good   . . . then you really have to ask yourself – 'why am I doing this?'

All this has absolutely nothing to do with comparing anybody to anybody – it's not the point. One of the new cards says: Comparison and Competition are Ugly things! So, knowing that, I don't do that, if I can help it – and I can help it!

We all share something in common now, and that's the reality that got underlined on September 11! Why not 'drink and make merry, for tomorrow we all die'!? Look, it's not just September the 11th.

What is Adam making, do you know?

Tamara : Chicken in lemon or something – some Arab dish.

Alan : Ah ha.

Tamara : From a book.


What do we know, really, about Osama bin Laden, Al-Qaeda and the Taliban, other than what we get through the Western media? It's like a mythical story – 'Saint George and the dragon'. You've seen the picture? Saint George goes out with a big sword to 'slay the dragon' – a fire-spouting dragon. Is that what those so called 'terrorist fanatics of Islam' aim to do?

What have so many Western ecologists and social scientists been pointing out to us, for years? Look what is going on in the world! Fueled by the 'powers that be', millions of people, many educated and living in 'advanced' countries, have no work and are on what they call the 'dole'. Governments pay them just enough

to keep alive. They are not terribly satisfied, just 'keeping alive'. And they've got a lot of free time to really take a look at what's going on – and they're out there protesting. 'Anti-globalists' they're sometimes called. Demonstrations at the World Trade meetings, the United Nations and other places where 'leaders' of the Western world get together to plan their strategy for 'Global stability'.

Thousands of people are saying: "You're ruining the atmosphere, you're ruining the waters, the richer are getting richer, the poor poorer, millions dying of starvation – and it's evil. You're killing the air, you're killing the waters, you're killing the forests, you're drugging-up people with 'prescriptions' that have terrible consequences, you're killing each other, it's evil to the core, to such an extent that you threaten the very existence of humanity and the planet itself." There are voices all over saying that.

It looks as if Osama bin Laden, who was born into extreme wealth, understands how all that works. He was trained in engineering and business and knows at least as much as those who are out on the streets demonstrating.

It reminds me of the story of the Buddha, who was born into the house of a king – then went out into the world and saw 'how the people were suffering'. Anybody can say, 'Yes, but the Buddha preached peace – and those people just killed 3,000 innocent people at the World Trade Center!'

Looked at from another angle, Saint George just poked the dragon in the eye! 'Innocent' people? Well – millions on earth in abject poverty and unbelievable suffering, and there you have 3,000 people 'up there', pressing buttons on computers, in order to make themselves, and the rich, richer! Innocent, eh?

The forests are burning, the cigarette companies are still advertising, the drug companies still sending forbidden drugs into Africa. It's all happening in a sleepy, as if 'self-interest' dynamic. In fact, it's all 'just happening' – all under the Law of Accident. Well, they're not doing anything very much different than you're doing, actually.

I never met bin Laden. I do however know some of the guys that write in the newspapers, and some of the politicians that sit in Parliament, and those that finance the whole business. I'm also familiar with the Koran and know a good many Moslems. These bits and pieces can add-up. You don't necessarily have to be an eyewitness to everything to know what's going on.

Now, what do you think it will take to survive all of this? The funny part of it is – you can't. Well, you'll survive one way or another, until you die (laugh). Everyone survives – then they die. What will you do in the meantime – assuming you're not constantly obsessed with the survival issue?

Most people at the house are not really worried about change – actually some look forward to it. Here they are part of a dynamic that's not at all so easy most of the time. If they were out of this place, other opportunities could open-up. They don't know exactly what, but the idea has a certain excitement to it. Like, now, I'm doing 'this', and then, I just might do 'anything'! They already have a little 'zula' (hiding place) that could buy them a ticket to . . . somewhere.

The kind of service this house has been providing might indeed have served its purpose, or may not be up to the needs of the present. It's no longer the same world – we're not in the same time-frame. These days are unique in the history of the world – no doubt about it.

Nobody can predict anything relative to the 'normal' systems that we have been subject to up to now. For instance, after all past wars there was still a certain 'stability'. A war could end in devastation, but money would get poured over the ashes, and we'd end off with something like a 'Berlin', with flashing lights and a booming culture. That won't happen again.

The world is in a mess, and whoever's got the power is using it, ruthlessly. From Zionist survival, to the burning of the forests – ruthless! Some friends moved to Klil a few years ago, to raise a family, be 'organic'. They are sitting in the Galilee surrounded by Arab villages. All of a sudden they don't feel so comfortable! I was talking to Amal recently and she says to me: "What are you saying, that they're going to come down from Abu S'nan and shoot us?" I said, "no no, I wasn't saying anything like that." But, the fear is there.

Where can you be safe? In New York? Here in this country? Okay, all this is just to point out, that here, we are quite aware of the 'dangers'. President Bush said that Osama bin Laden and Al Qaeda are out to 'take down' nations and cultures – if some major system was 'taken-out', the domino-effect could do the trick.

Now, the ones with the money are sitting in fancy buildings with their police and armies trying to control the criminals, religious fanatics and the poor. They're not having an easy time. And most of us are quite hooked-up with that world, wired in, and available 'on call'!

Everyone is hooked-up

with the outer world

available on call!

all that you have to do

is press a few buttons

and you get me

to say:


How do you balance that reality with the potential future of this here lovely child. You can't love this child and not consider what we are talking about – that's the world she's moving into.

If this life is worth anything, then we'll have to have some survivable children. A 'perspective' is needed, and the children don't have one yet. Look, we're in the middle of quite something! Let's not spend our life dreaming of 'little white houses with fences around them', or where the next 'smoke' will come from. A human being can grow into a respectable something – reasonably aware, reasonably calm and reasonably knowledgeable, about themselves . . . and the world around them.

So, to love a child, isn't simply to get pleasure from that freshness that just popped-out of heaven – but to realize that with every day that passes, they get more and more dumped into this confusion.

'Equal To Life' – what would it entail, now? Regardless of how much experience a person has, it doesn't make a hell of a lot of difference anymore. Everyone must come to a radically new relationship to the world – the conventional 'juggling' just won't get anyone, anywhere, anymore!

The big sin is that the children are getting programmed by the adults in accordance with an already dead world. If a child were just allowed to calm down a bit, one might be able to share a picture with them, of where they are in this current situation. Even a ten-year-old could understand certain things. The kids are rapidly reaching a point where they won't be able to rely on anyone else to put a picture together, for them.

What does it mean to 'put a picture together'? Depending where you are in yourself, the same details can form-up very different pictures, with very different implications. The world that you perceive depends a lot on your experience, but even more on your 'level of being'! Your level is on the vertical line of the cross – the line of Eternity. Don't forget!

Again, we have this whole business of 'life', with all its craziness and demands. It has more demands on you than it has on a ten year old, and even more on your parents who are carrying considerably more pieces of undigested 'impressions' – sometimes called 'shit'.

The point, if I can hold to it, is to 'think', with whatever you've got! To think of what? Yourself, people generally, people you know, the world. You have to think about 'life', and about 'being'. You must make the effort to remember yourself, because, unless you do, you don't even know who is doing the thinking. Can you conceive of any starting-point, other than self-study?

The soul, spirit, is the essential 'you', which came into this world. We are in an amazing piece of 'machinery' here, but as with any sensitive instrument, for it to work well, it must be in balance. When it's not, it can only give you confusing . . . whatever.


If I were you (Merav), I would lie down on the floor, now. Do you want to try that? Put your head approximately where your feet are . . . just lie there on the floor . . . close your eyes. You can do it here if you feel comfortable . . . there, that's good. You can put your legs down, your arms down, no one's going to attack you. You can feel totally and absolutely safe, and just let the body relax . . . feel the weight of the body on the ground . . . just feel the heaviness, its weight, the pull of gravity. Let the legs down, hands down. Heavy! Do that . . . heavy, heavy . . . feel it. Feel the weight of your shoulders . . . Heavy . . . arms heavy . . . your legs heavy, your feet heavy, your thighs heavy . . . your head heavy. No tensed muscles . . . just 'ahh' . . . like you just fell out of a tree. And breathe through the nose . . . you don't have to clench your jaw, but you can let your lips touch each other. Feel the air going through your nose . . . it can be regular, irregular . . . it doesn't matter.

There are incredible challenges in this period – you might as well relax. If you're in the middle of an artillery range with shooting all over the place, the best thing you can do is relax, even with the noise and the bullets flying by. Maybe within a certain lull you can move to another position. Best to relax – there's no one in this world, you know, who isn't prone to some anxiety.

Leave your hands on the ground (Merav) and don't even listen, don't listen to me (laugh). Listen to your own breath. If we say anything world shaking, it's on tape. Let your lips kiss each other.

Merav : Alan . . . but I'm cold!         

Alan : Ma echpat li (what do I care)!

Merav : That's why I have to put my hands like this.

Alan : Stephen, could you bring her a blanket?

Do you know the story of the guy that goes to the hospital to visit a friend, and finds him in an oxygen tent? I don't know if they have those anymore – now they put little tubes up your nose. But they used to put people into an oxygen tent. That was a scary thing to contemplate as a kid – it looked like a coffin, a round coffin, with, you know, glass.

Pretend (Merav) you just fell out of a tree! You're just lying there, you thank God you haven't broken anything. But everything's a little bit bruised, so you just want to lie there, and feel it. You're not sure, maybe something is broken, maybe not . . . just go to each part of your body . . . feel . . . see whether or not anything is 'broken'.


So, this person visits his friend who is in the oxygen tent – and starts talking to him. And the guy, you know, is laying there, and tries to speak – "urgh, urgh" (choking voices). He's being asked questions, and all he does is grunt, "urgh, urgh" (choking voices). This keeps going on . . . another question – "urgh, urgh"! Finally the visitor says: "I can't hear you!!", and he puts his head down real close to the head of the patient, and hears him say – "You're standing on my air tube!!!" "But I'm freezing", says the girl!  


Somehow, the hope is that you already know enough about the world, about yourself and about the Work – enough, so to speak, that you can position yourself.

I 'wants', the World 'wants', and the Work 'wants'. How will you relate to all that?

I can't talk like this with many people. They know too much. Their habits have so locked them into their personal world, that a stretch is just too painful. If one could just acknowledge that they 'don't know', be that honest. What is your picture? If you could say, 'I don't know', then at least you could relax within that truth.

Sometimes you have a clearer picture, sometimes less, sometimes not at all. It definitely comes down to 'evaluation'. Make your fullest possible evaluation, set an aim within it, and try to live up to it. If you can, get up every morning, get yourself totally relaxed and check whether you want to up-date your picture. But don't work in a 'catch-as-catch-can' environment.

If you make an evaluation and act accordingly, the results will allow you to correct any misconceptions. But at least know what your 'conceptions' are. Don't start the day in a vacuum.

It's clear what I'm saying, right? The words?

Uzi : The 'words', yes.

Alan : Yes (laugh). It's a good thing Yacov is not here at the moment because he would have a heart attack. That's what he's been struggling with for sometime now.

Put your picture together as best as you can: where you are, what you're doing, why you're doing it. Within that is the hope of developing what's called 'driver'. If you lack driver in yourself, then you are just subject to all the 'winds' – mainly other people's hot air.

Everyone knows what I'm talking about, because occasionally they do that. But  they don't always realize what they're doing – and as such forget the aim they set themselves. There must be a clear aim, so that when difficulties arise, you can 'remember', and keep it going.

Your 'aim', within your 'evaluation', is vital to your 'remembering'. You're not married to it for the rest of your life, you can change it, you are free to 're-evaluate' and bring your picture up to date. Generally, we live more in illusion than in practicality.

I feel that this is pretty much the conclusion. To be equal to life, you have to have experience for yourself – of yourself. Otherwise you are merely jerked around by every event, every association, every change, you drift. So, evaluation –     or drift!

If you have affection for the Truth, even when it's not 'complementary', then you can have real relationships with others who share that passion.

Who is there to help who? At the level that we're aiming for, there is a Unity – so, in fact, the only one you can help, is yourself. YourSelf is a lot larger than you imagine – it's everything! What a preposterous statement, eh?

What are you (Merav) doing lying on the floor like an idiot? You look like an Egyptian mummy! (laugh)

The difficulty in making an evaluation, is that you have to do it from who you are, and what you have – you can't do it with anybody else's data, or 'being'. There could be the fear of pain in it – the pain of 'not knowing'. We don't like the idea of pain, but in that pain, is the truth, and its energy is vital!

If you're lucky, there will also be  'humiliation' in it. But you must ask: 'who do I think I am, what do I think I'm doing, and what is going on?' This is somewhat over simplifying the issue, but I assure you, it's not a parlor game.

Don't resent the 'not knowing', the 'eeh' in it, the pain. If you are going to move from where you are, you will have to be able to live truthfully in the 'I don't know', and with the changing feelings and thoughts.